There comes a time in every man's life when he must ask himself: Do I need a parental block on my computer? I'm looking at porn way too much. I'm looking at it even when I'm not in the mood for it. It's kind of like my laptop is my perpetually-boned husband who always wants me to touch him and I relent even when I have a headache.
Lately I've been bored by sex. I feel over saturated by it. I get like this every couple of months. I'm kind of bored with pretty men. There are so many of them - at least online. Being stunning in this culture is not a novelty. Thanks to all our advances in health and cosmetics (surgery), if drop dead gorgeousness was a real condition it would be a plague. We'd have pretty people dropping like flies. Gravestones would read: "Too pretty to live."
I'm not saying I don't enjoy seeing pretty men. Just wander around my blog other blog, Daventry Blue, and you'll see how much I've enjoyed them in the past. Even at my most hum-drum they still inspire a slight lift of the eyebrow - that is, if they're not in a flock, i.e. Tumblr. The Tumblr sites fling such beauty at me so quickly that my eyes glaze over, at least until a photo with something new to offer - a strange pose, prop, or perspective - flits before my eyes. A pretty face or a rocking bod striking the same old pose just doesn't get me going anymore.
And then there's the matter of psyche, of what all that objectification does to my own self-confidence. These models, most of them (if there be a god), are air-brushed and prettified to all hell, and we all know this. Yet still, my gut sinks to my balls when I see some astonishingly handsome well-crafted Hercules with an ass that could hide a star system and a chest that could feed a village. I realize I will never look like that. Then I shake my head and remind myself, HE probably doesn't look like that. If he does he's most likely very lonely because everyone around him is too intimidated to approach him. The poor gorgeous brute.
I discovered a while ago, like everyone else, that my mind is the best tool for erotica. The images on the interweb screen, no matter how jaw-dropping or bizarre, will never measure up to my twisted and fascinating little deviant brain. I can take an image or a face and use it as a muse for a story or a fantasy, but the appeal soon flags and I move on to something new. Some newfound blog with a new angle of lovely men. But my fascination there will pass as well until at last I'm left yawning and sexless...well, not sexless. I mean, I will still have my penis. It just will not be interested in the pretty men on my computer screen.
...but that will pass soon enough.
There are a lot of pretty men out there, many of them airbrushed to the point of being gods, but what it comes down to is being happy in the skin your in. So many people focus on the outside but being happy with your skin comes from accepting your inner person. Accepting those ugly things about yourself that others don't know about. Even the pretties have hidden secrets that they don't want others to ever find out about. We are our own worst enemies when it comes to our looks and our lives. When you look at couples who aren't evenly matched in the looks department and wonder "how the hell did that guy get him?" it's probably because that guy accepted even the ugly part of the pretty man, caring for him even though he knows the secrets. In this day and age objectification comes easy, pressure to be more is always out there, accepting yourself if the toughest part. And I'm going to shut up now before I write a book about the subject here on your blog.
ReplyDeleteI love couples like that! In the Diane Lane movie, Must Love Dogs, there is a couple just so. Adorable!
DeleteGood Lord, it's like reading my own thoughts. Scary as hell.
ReplyDeleteBwahahahaha!! ;-)
DeleteEric... as a reader and follower of yours, you are such a beautiful person! As far as all of the beautiful men out on the web, I enjoy looking, but makes me not like myself or my body at all! It is easy to feel bad about yourself and let yourself go to shit, so to speak...
ReplyDeleteKeep up the good work, I love the fantasy of your writing and the mental pictures of seeing you as the characters.
Thank you so much!!
DeleteDefinitely oversaturated. I find myself skimming through all the pics of nude men on my tumblr dash these days...
ReplyDeleteMe too. Sigh.
DeleteFortunately, I'm still able to appreciate cute pictures of kittens, or I'd REALLY be worried.
DeleteEric,
ReplyDeleteWe all go through that. And the interesting part is that in our culture it’s looked upon as something normal for men to look at porn. Especially if you’re an adolescent going through your own discoveries. The funny thing is that there is a small group of us who actually didn’t really discover porn until later in our adulthood. For what ever reason, some of us didn’t have access to such material in our early years and now in the 21st century it’s everywhere! And yes, it starts to get repetitive. The images start looking the same and that’s when the best thing to do is to stop, stand back and just take a break. Like everything else in our daily lives we try not to fall into a routing or we simply go mad! And in regards to how You look at other guys and how it makes You feel about yourself, well I’m sure you have your good qualities. We all do! Enjoy your weekend!
Thanks for commenting! Well said.
DeleteI really liked this piece. I look forward to reading more of you. As I get older I find experiencing deep peace with a person is more of a turn on than a shaved armpit. (not that there's anything wrong with shaved armpits)
ReplyDeleteThanks, Kent!
DeleteDitto. I was thinking i'm developing a disturbing habit of watching and beating even when i'm tired or so not in the mood.. Guess it comes with being a man.
ReplyDeleteUs guys. We can't stop playing with it ;-)
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